oh,harry.

ha vent posted here in awhile. Ive been on a wonderful family vacation. but right before i left, the final harry potter film was released. at midnight. of course. i had several friends brave the wee hours of the night and go watch it. i have yet to see it. and don't plan too. not the biggest fan really. anyway. i searched for the hash tag #harrypotter on twitter the next morning. hundreds upon hundreds of tweets glitter my iPhone screen. insane. there were so many tweets i couldn't even begin to read all of them. i got to thinking. there were so many tweets, face book statuses, email and text message forwards about that film that day. and obviously it took a large sum of time to comprise these. people literally had huge excitement over this movie. the used a ton of time and energy to explain to all of us how awesome it was. so i thought. what if we did that with our relationship with Christ. what if we had so much joy and excitement over the gospel that it flowed out of us and illuminated our world. what if instead of rejoicing over HP, we rejoiced over Jesus. and his sacrifice. just on my mind.

butterflies.

ive learned something recently.

i see SO many girls who say " im done with guys for good ".
Newsflash, no your not. no matter how much we as females try to concentrate on ourselves, we were made to notice and desire males. God created every girl to notice guys. its true. your control is the important part there. control your thoughts and actions. but dont say your done with guys. because that promise will be destroyed faster than a bull destroys a China shop. you, i, every girl WILL have feelings for someone. no matter how hard you try not to. ill be the first to admit it. im absolutely crazy about a particular someone. but if you've read my other posts you'll see that if that is meant to happen ill wait for God to make it happen. but for now, i dont think theres anything wrong with getting the butterflies in your stomach at the sound of his name, or smiling uncontrollably because he texted you. its okay ladies. it is (:

i laugh.

i laugh. i laugh at life. i laugh at people. i laugh at facts. i see no need to take life incredibly serious. because i wont be here long. there is very little time that i have on this earth in the scheme of things. and i have one purpose here which is to serve the Lord. nothing else is important, so why sweat the small things. i laugh at the fact that i enjoy ketchup on my mac and cheese. i laugh because 9 times out of 10 the guy i feel is "perfect" at the moment will only be interested when I'm unavailable. i laugh that i cant keep a straight face if my life depended on it. and i laugh at girls who over do EVERYTHING. my life is free. my life is in Gods hands. my life, is just whatever. but i can take this life ive been given, and glorify the kingdom of God. and thats my purpose. thats all i have to do. so who cares about my shoes, or anything else.

im your average unique teenager.

im not your average girl.

i aspire to do things much bigger than myself.
i want things out of life not every 15 year old does.

however, in some ways, i am your average girl.

my hair looks a mess ALOT.
im absolutely crazy about a boy i may never have a shot with.
i worry about apperance.
and i have my cell phone glued to me at all times.

this was something that was on my mind. in some ways, like those above, im a pretty average girl. i have very average qualities of a teenager. but i was thinking. when you look at our teenage population, VERY few of us make an effort to be DEVOTED to our lord. and i feel like thats where i burst through the mold of your "average,pimple faced, text-a-holic, teenager." dont take me wrong, I am NOT perfect. not even slightly. but one thing i feel like i am, is a "average teenager" trying to live my life fully DEVOTED to christ. sometimes, i will slip up. actually ALOT of times i will mess up. but your effort is important, and we have christ forgiveness. so maybe my hair will be awful. and maybe no matter how much i look down at my phone that guy will NEVER text me. and maybe ill have days where i look terrible. but regardless of all of that, i have everything i will ever need in jesus christ, my savior.

the swing.

im getting into the swing of things. getting to life, post breakup. post camp. post school. post emotions. im getting to life after all of these realizations. im getting to what my life looks like now. and frankly, its pretty good. not all of these realizations were bad. camp opened my eyes. i realized my errors there. however post breakup was difficult. when you put these together, you end up with a mess of a girl. but im doing fine. im actually doing well. i think ive realized that living post whatever is the only way. the past is the past.
today, i was siting at a friends house and with no warning, i had a realization. its time to let go of my past, and step into my future. step into a future where im not selfish and attention seeking. step into a future where my attention is on christ, and boys, are not my priority. step into a future where i am a warrior for the kingdom of god. this is my future, scratch that. THIS, is my now. this is the life im ready to live. this is my time. im still working on it, but slowly, im getting into the swing of things.